What I've Been Up To

I've been out here in Washington for 2 weeks now. Before I came I was kicking myself for deciding to take classes during the summer on the other side of the country from my family and friends. First few days here, I still felt the same. Meeting new people was fine, but at that time I didn't WANT to meet new people. I wanted to spend time with those that I loved and cared about already.

A few days in I also came to the realization (not sure why I hadn't realized this before) that I am in SCHOOL. class 7 hrs a day, homework, exams, presentations and papers. Why did I think this would be such a good idea??!!


BUT, my mind has quickly changed. I'm really beginning to love it here. Everyone is super awesome and they have such different stories. It's awesome to be around so many people my age who are passionate about the environment.

The classes I'm taking are Ecological Agriculture & Global Development/Ecological Sustainability.
My Ag class is my favorite so far. I've been learning so much about gardening and farming and all that sort of thing. I'm beginning to think a fire is being lit under my ass.
My Global Development class is alright. I haven't learned much yet, but we've gone to some interesting places and talked about some interesting things.

For perspectives sake - are lodgings are right on the coast of the Puget Sound. the majority of the day is lit - but cold. sunsets of the ocean are incredible. Last night - that was something.
Every day we drive 5 or 10 minutes to 'campus' which is an old game farm. There are several single story buildings, a garden, pheasants, chickens, solar panels, prairie reserve, forests, etc, etc. It's beautiful. We are at school from about 8:30-4:30 or 5 (we get an hour lunch though). Each day there is only one class, so I have each class twice a week. One day a week, the entire group goes on an integrative field trip together.
Evenings and weekends are filled with studying, admiring our beautiful surroundings, and every-so-often a good game of soccer.

Just about 3 more weeks left - and still several exams and projects and papers to kick in the butt. It will get done, though, and hopefully not at the expense of my GPA. :)

goals for the rest of the session:
get out to Orcas Island
go salmon fishing
work on my soccer shkills
see some whales
secure a few more friendships

my mind is kinda a little bit being blown...

Agriculture people. it's the new thing... no joke.

contrary to my last post...

I'm good. really good. today, even while doing dull work, a burst of joy would run through my body and I'd smile - or laugh to myself. to be honest, I'm not even sure why.

I love these days

feeling... blah

The long dark tea-time of the soul

"In the past the whales had been able to sing to each other across whole oceans, even from one ocean to another because sound travels such huge distances underwater. But now, again because of the way in which sound travels, there is no part of the ocean that is not constantly jangling with the hubbub of ships' motors, through which it is now virtually impossible for the whales to hear each other's songs or messages.

So fucking what, is pretty much the way that people tend to view this problem, and understandably so, thought Dirk. After all, who wants to hear a bunch of fat fish, oh, all right, mammals, burping at each other? But for a moment Dirk had a sense of infinite loss and sadness that somewhere among the frenzy of information noise that daily rattles the lives of men he thought he might have heard a few notes that denoted the movements of gods."

Douglas Adams
The Long dark tea-time of the soul
pg.189-190

i've done it again

It seems I've fallen into another tipsy-turvy season

leading myself astray - knowing that in a short time I will be unavoidably grounded

for now, that's ok (I say this knowing the future me will look back, shake her head, and say "never again, never again" only to once again 'do it again')
but, like I said,
for now, that's ok

I wish I didn't stress so much about money, or about disappointing my family, or letting friends down
but who am I without my worries? I have always been defined by my anxiety, my over-thinking/interpreting, my rambling of situations that just are what they are -

I like to think I'm moving past that, but I'm not so sure I am.
perhaps I'm just changing the way it looks




sometimes I just wish I were 30 already, I can't wait for my 30s

shopping

the least stressful and most rewarding place for me to go shopping is...

my sister's closet.