so, I took my 'day of silence', which wasn't necessarily that silent.
I booked a room at the cenacle in lincoln park for a day, read a book that was on the table when I got there, met the sweet sister rose, ate a fantastic lunch, and came to a decision.
I'm going to have a calm and trusting heart.
This is the first time that I've felt the peace of God and not been afraid to lose it. I'm not just being randomly blessed with peace, I'm claiming the peace that is always and has always been.
I don't feel like this has been a huge transformation in my life, or a huge stepping stone. It probably is, but it all feels very subtle and natural.
It seems so simple. claiming peace. I WILL have a calm and trusting heart.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
desperate
I'm desperate for a day away - away from everything.
I've been looking forward to the full-day silent retreat all semester. It was going to be this Saturday. Got an email this morning saying it was cancelled because only 2 people signed up.
Frankly, I wanted to cry. But I had no energy to - let's just say today was a busy day. It's been a busy semester, and the next few weeks are going to be even worse. I had been setting aside this day and counting on it, and then suddenly that all vanished.
Well, I'm still going to take my day of silence - and perhaps going alone will make it even better. but the shake up made me realize how desperate I've been for this day.
I keep wanting to say that I can't wait for the semester to be over... but really I fear coming upon the next week and I'm too scared to dream of the time after... I'm not going to let his happen next year. This is my last semester of being over-committed.
i hope
I've been looking forward to the full-day silent retreat all semester. It was going to be this Saturday. Got an email this morning saying it was cancelled because only 2 people signed up.
Frankly, I wanted to cry. But I had no energy to - let's just say today was a busy day. It's been a busy semester, and the next few weeks are going to be even worse. I had been setting aside this day and counting on it, and then suddenly that all vanished.
Well, I'm still going to take my day of silence - and perhaps going alone will make it even better. but the shake up made me realize how desperate I've been for this day.
I keep wanting to say that I can't wait for the semester to be over... but really I fear coming upon the next week and I'm too scared to dream of the time after... I'm not going to let his happen next year. This is my last semester of being over-committed.
i hope
Thursday, April 9, 2009
when I was born my parents were living on the 3rd floor of a large house with several other people from church. The owner of the house had a big black lab. don't ask me how I remember this (perhaps it's only a figment of my imagination), but when I was two or three I remember sometimes curling up in the dog's bed with him by the radiator. It was safe there. that memory makes me feel safe.
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