to be a good writer...

...one must write.

and write

and write.

But what if one is scared to write.

What if one finds shame in their words - their simplicity - their obvious lack of skill in pulling the words together and letting them be beautiful.

Perhaps it is only greed - longing to be excellent, and not doing it at all if one doesn't expect to be excellent.

i have mischievous friends

homecoming court


o dear

baahhhh

not looking forward to the drive alone again. it's just boring - and I've spent more time in the car this week than I have outside. driving me just a wee bit crazy.

But chicago means friends, friends that I've been apart from for way too long.
It doesn't matter how much I loved this summer and the people I met. there is just something about being with someone that knows you a little better, a little deeper - someone you have a past with. just something about it that's soothing.

motivation = non-existent

I am officially capitalizing on senioritis.

I really do love learning, and taking awesome classes is a great way to do that...

but I'm tired.

All I want to do is play games, drink long-islands, read what I want, go on adventures, etc. etc. etc.

recovery

I am in recovery - and recovery is beautiful :)

recovery consists of:

baseball games,
sushi,
lots of sushi,
a cute little dog named lucy,
wine & cigars,
a cowgirl hat,
family & friends,
$30 worth of wendell berry and aristotle,
hiking all day & sleeping all night,

and there's still more to come

awful awful night.

claiming peace

so, I took my 'day of silence', which wasn't necessarily that silent.
I booked a room at the cenacle in lincoln park for a day, read a book that was on the table when I got there, met the sweet sister rose, ate a fantastic lunch, and came to a decision.

I'm going to have a calm and trusting heart.

This is the first time that I've felt the peace of God and not been afraid to lose it. I'm not just being randomly blessed with peace, I'm claiming the peace that is always and has always been.

I don't feel like this has been a huge transformation in my life, or a huge stepping stone. It probably is, but it all feels very subtle and natural.

It seems so simple. claiming peace. I WILL have a calm and trusting heart.